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WIP Meme

April 27th, 2012 (12:31 am)

Stolen from leopion.

Post the first sentence (or three) from every WIP you're currently working on, even if it's very short. Then invite people to ask questions about your WIPs. With any luck, the motivation to take that WIP one step closer to completion will appear as if by magic!

So I went rummaging, and found more than I expected.

I've cheated a bit... Some of them aren't the first sentence(s), some are longer than three sentences; 1 is actually the end of the story so far -- I don't know where to go next with it -- and so is 3, more or less; 4 began life as a Yuletide fic and is in a fandom I've never written before; 7 and 7a are both attempts at starting the same story...

Any comments/questions/inspiration would be greatly appreciated!


1.
Do not be afraid, Eowyn, daughter of Eomund,” said a deep, feminine voice that seemed to float upon the air. “You have good reason to be proud of your husband-to-be. But his achievement hangs upon a thread, and its future rests upon a choice that you will make. You are soon to be tested.

“Lady... Galadriel?” whispered Eowyn.

Think carefully upon what I have said.

“I…”

The reflection rippled, and Eowyn saw herself in it—half-naked, dirty, and tousled—before the world turned white, and the floor spun away from her.


2.
He was a small, thin, scarecrow of a man, with long, bony limbs, wispy grey hair, and deep-set, piercing eyes. And he was standing directly beneath a life-sized manikin, made from bundles of twigs tied together, and splashed with red dye.


3.
Eowyn grabbed his arm and squeezed it, urgently.

He turned, and gasped.

Carafin was crouching beside them, holding out Melannen’s cloth mouse.

“Thank you,” said Eowyn, taking it, and pressing it to her bosom.

Carafin settled down next to her. “Orcs,” she said, bitterly. “Orcs came. Night-night,”—in a sing-song voice—“night-night, sleep tight, Melannen—night-night, Nana.”

Suddenly, she sprang forward on all fours, roaring, tearing up handfuls of snow and throwing them into the fire: “Orcs came,” she screamed. “ORCS CAME!”


4.
She kissed him, and her lips were cold.

“You’re not really here, are you?” he said, softly. “I’m dreaming.” She cradled his head upon her breast, and it was as though the breeze embraced him. “Do you need to tell me something, Yrsa?”


5.
“Well,” said Aragorn, riding beside Legolas, “are you going to tell me why Arwen and I have been seeing so little of you recently?”

The trees were bare but, everywhere, fat buds were opening to reveal green and yellow, white and pink: each tiny touch of colour promising the leaves and blossoms of spring. Legolas breathed in the scent of life renewed. “The colony is a big undertaking,” he said. “I am required to make decisions that... I am responsible for everything, Aragorn, and I am a warrior, not a ruler.”


6.
“But can’t you see?” bellowed Draco, clenching his fists. “We’re at war with each other! How could I possibly be in love with her? This is ridiculous!” He headed for the door. “I'm out of here!”

“Draco...” The razor-sharp edge of his father’s most supercilious voice—which should never, ever, in Draco’s opinion, have been used against a son—hit him like a Body-Bind Curse. He froze, one hand upon the door knob.

“You will do this,” said Lucius, quietly. “You will court the Mudblood, you will win her trust, and you will convince her that you can help her friend. Then you will deliver Harry Potter to the Dark Lord, and everything will be as it was.”

Oh yes, thought Draco, murderously. And then, if we’re really lucky, old Voldy will let us lick his arse for him!

But, as angry as he was, he kept that insight to himself.


7.
“If you could take your eyes off my breasts for a moment, you’d realise I’m the same Mudblood you hated at school.”

“If you don’t want men to look at them, you should keep them covered. And I didn’t hate you at school. I baited you. Because I fancied you.” He stretches out a hand and—pushing his luck—cups one of her gorgeous tits, and—Merlin—it feels good—all soft but firm, and surprisingly heavy.

He looks up at Granger. The way her expression’s changing, and she’s actually leaning into his hand... She’s obviously gagging for it. “D’you fancy a shag?” he murmurs.


7a
“It was all your fault,” he says, though he has to hand it to Granger—she certainly knows how to take a man’s mind off nicotine...

He turns onto his side and, leaning on his elbow, looks down at her. She’s still flushed from their love-making; her hair’s spread across the pillow, all Pre-Raphaelite heroine; there’s a love-bite on her neck, just where it meets the gorgeous curve of her shoulder; and her robes are open, revealing the masterpiece of black underwired lace responsible for that cock-baiting cleavage.


8.
He waits for her round the corner. “Why?” he demands.

“Why what?”

“Why’d you let me kiss you like that?”

She shrugs. “Girls have hormones too, Malfoy. I thought you’d know that.”

“Well, yes, but...” He’d always assumed that nice girls were different. He sighs. “Why’d you come looking for me in the first place?”

“Harry thinks you’re a Death Eater,” she says, “but I... I don’t.”

That makes him want to bare his arm and show her his dark mark. And he doesn’t know whether it’s to contradict her, or frighten her, or impress her, or even to confide in her.

But he does know that, if he shows her, he’ll have to Obliviate her...

Or maybe he could just shag her stupid till she agrees to join him.

Whatever. He knows he daren’t risk it.

“Get back to Griffyndor Tower, Granger,” he growls. “Get into bed, get under the covers, and bloody-well stay there.”


9.
Malfoy closes her office door behind him. “What are you playing at, Granger?”

“I’m not playing, Draco. I want to—”

Talk. Yes, I read your note. So?”

“I’m sorry.” She moves closer.

Malfoy steps back, warding her off with his hands. “This time sorry’s not enough,” he says. “This time I’ve learnt my lesson.” He turns away.

“Draco,” she whispers.

“No.”

“But, Draco, I will.”

He stops and, for several unbearable moments, he thinks about a life without her.

Then he swears and, turning back to her, holds out his arms.

Comments

Posted by: layla_aaron (luscious_words)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 01:04 am (UTC)

In very random order:

7 and 7a - Not a question, just a comment - Sexy awesomeness. (And that's from someone who's not an HP fan. Please don't hate me, but it's true. *g*)

2 and 4 - What are these from?

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 10:31 am (UTC)

I'm glad you found 7 & 7a sexy! Draco is being a bit of a lad (and in my Dramione stories, Draco always lowers sets the tone, and Hermione follows). This aborted story actually ended up as a drabble. But I feel it has more mileage in it!

No 2 is from my interminable Eowyn/Legolas fanfic100 story -- 100 short stories, each based on a prompt. I've been writing it for about 6 years & I'm up to part 50-ish! Legolas and Eowyn have just defeated a pack of werewolves, and in the process discovered the manikin, which the werewolves seemed to be afraid of. The strange man made it, and I was about to explain why, but ran out of steam.

No 4 is a 13th Warrior fic. I started it for Yuletide a couple of years ago but never finished it because it doesn't add up (and it doesn't bear any resemblance to what the recipient wanted). 'He' is Edgtho the Silent (the tracker, if you've seen the film); Yrsa is his dead wife. I have such a strong plot bunny about his having a dead wife, and her appearing and giving him advice at crucial parts of the story (I say elsewhere that her own people called her Yrsa the Seer), that I can't think of an alternative, but it doesn't quite fit with his canon character. Plus, I had to do so much research about Viking marriage! I love the idea though, and can't seem to let it go.

Posted by: layla_aaron (luscious_words)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 12:50 pm (UTC)

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 04:38 pm (UTC)

Posted by: layla_aaron (luscious_words)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 04:51 pm (UTC)

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 09:09 pm (UTC)

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 07:51 pm (UTC)

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 09:10 pm (UTC)

Posted by: Just an Under-Gamekeeper (girlingoldboots)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 04:43 am (UTC)

#2 is seriously creepy and I want to read more of #5

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 10:41 am (UTC)

I'm glad No 2 came over as creepy! Legolas and Eowyn have just defeated a pack of werewolves, and discovered the manikin, which the werewolves seem to be afraid of, and we're about to find out who the strange man is, and why he made it... (Or we would be, if I could get my arse into gear ;-)

I'm surprised you picked out No 5! I started it for Valentine's Day a couple of years ago, but didn't finish it, partly because they're on a hunting trip and I got bogged down researching the Mediaeval way to care for hounds :-) It's set, as you probably realised, before L & E get together, and it was to have featured a lot of poignant longing... But I never really thought of an actual plot for it. It's one of those stories that won't be written but just won't go away...

Posted by: kansol_encore (kansol_encore)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 05:21 am (UTC)
I'ma dreamer

2. I like that one. It has a Wizard of Oz kind of vibe to it. Very whimsical. The "splash of red dye" is a fantastic touch. It really grounds the description and draws me in.

3. Although I'm completely unfamiliar with the fandom, this WIP appears to be very action driven. Maybe with more details I would be able to figure out what spawned this flurry of activity, but as is I'm feeling pushed. Also--and this is just a kansol_encore thing--I don't like the word "suddenly."

4. *marries it*

6. Lucius' voice is phenomenal. I hope that in this fic, Draco has to check up with his dad regularly.

7a. definitely. 8. Last sentence: FTW

Edited at 2012-04-27 05:21 am (UTC)

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 11:21 am (UTC)

No 2 -- do you know, I've never seen The Wizard of Oz (which caused me some grief recently, because someone gave me a prompt from it, and I had no idea what it 'meant')? The snippet is from my Eowyn/Legolas fanfic100 story. They have just defeated a pack of werewolves, and discovered the manikin, which the werewolves seem to be afraid of, and they are about to find out who made it and why. The entire incident was very visceral, and I was proud of my werewolf transformation scenes, LOL, so I'm really glad the red dye worked for you. (When they first saw it, the elves though it might be blood).

No 3 -- this snippet is bit of a cheat, because it isn't the start of the story but the start of the bit I'm stuck on. Basically, the story has become too complex. Earlier, L & E rescued an elfling, called Melannen. When they went back to look for his parents, they found Carafin, out of her mind with grief, lying upon the grave of her dead son (quite a canon-compliant situation ;-) The dead son is also called Melannen, but is clearly not the same Melannen... Or is he? And that's only one strand of the story; there are at least two subplots to worry about as well.

I don't like the word "suddenly."

LOL! 'Suddenly' is one of the words I rigorously edit out when I'm in the beta-ing stage -- 'nodded' is another -- but I do allow myself one or two!

No 4 -- I love this story, too, and there's not much more to it than this snippet. It's a 13th Warrior fic. 'He' is Edgtho the Silent (the dark, handsome tracker, if you've seen the film); Yrsa is his dead wife. She appears at crucial parts of the story to give him advice. (I say elsewhere that her own people called her Yrsa the Seer). I can't quite get my plot bunny to fit with his canon character, but I've not given up on this one.

No 6 -- this was written for a fest I had to drop out of, so someone else will have pinch-hit the story, though she/he won't necessarily have used the same prompt. The main problem I had (apart from feeling too ill to settle down to writing it) was that the only prompt I thought I could work with was a quote from Draco, and it didn't quite ring true to me... I'm pretty sure I will finish this one at some point, but [spoiler alert, LOL] I want to show Draco thinking he's being so clever, manipulating Hermione for Voldemort, whilst (hidden in plain sight) we can see that Hermione is actually manipulating him for the Order. And that will require a lot of writing.

No 7 -- Interesting that you like 7a better. Hmmm.

No 8 -- This was supposed to be a drabble for dmhgchallenge, but I realised just in time that I'd misread the prompt! I liked the idea, though, so I saved it in my 'to do' folder. I'm thinking that this might actually be the end of the story, but maybe it could appear as a sort of Prologue, and then the story could go back in time. I was worried that Draco might seem a bit too fluffy, and thought I could avoid some of that by having him just hold his arms out and not say anything. I'm glad you liked it.

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 12:25 pm (UTC)
Bored Now

'Suddenly' is a good word. Like any word, too many of them in a short space of time is boring* but, if something happens suddenly, then there is no point in beating around the bush trying to find an alternative every single time.

And those people who freak out about the use of adverbs in general amuse me - why not freak out about the use of nouns, or adjectives?

* - for example I realised there was too much 'nibbling' going on in the last chapter of Immigrants when I read it through - but this doesn't mean there is anything wrong with 'nibbling' as a word - I have no urge to start having the horrors every time I see it anywhere else.

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 01:57 pm (UTC)

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 04:34 pm (UTC)

Posted by: kansol_encore (kansol_encore)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 06:03 pm (UTC)

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 06:21 pm (UTC)

Posted by: kansol_encore (kansol_encore)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 06:57 pm (UTC)

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 08:15 pm (UTC)

Posted by: kansol_encore (kansol_encore)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 10:38 pm (UTC)

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 09:01 pm (UTC)

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 08:34 pm (UTC)

Posted by: kansol_encore (kansol_encore)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 09:28 pm (UTC)

Posted by: kansol_encore (kansol_encore)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 05:39 pm (UTC)
oops about misposting

Posted by: kansol_encore (kansol_encore)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 05:40 pm (UTC)

Posted by: leopion (leopion)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 11:49 am (UTC)

1. Is this also Legolas/Eowyn? I'm just curious in case you try out another pairing. Also, what she saw in the last sentence, is that the image of her during the moment when she would have to make the choice? You said that this is the end so far. Have there been a lot happening before this?

4. I loved this. I just read your response to luscious_words about the fandom for this and I'm not familiar with it at all. But I really liked the basic idea you've set out. If you don't think the plot really fits the canon character of this verse, would this bunny work in another universe, with other characters? It is just a thought, because I would love to see this premise regardless of where the characters come from.

6. I thought I've seen this somewhere else. Have you started posting it already? Because if it's a yes, I'm gonna head over to read soon :)

7. I like them both. I suppose that this is just you trying to find which moment is best to start off with, right? But either way, they both happened in the universe of the story? If so, I kinda lean towards 7 but very, very slightly.

8. Is this supposed to be one of those off-screen moments or is this story AU to HBP?

9. What has she done? (Or rather what she hasn't done?)

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 02:29 pm (UTC)

No 1 -- Yes, it's L&E, and... You've put your finger on one of my problems with the story. My original intention was that Eowyn was seeing her true reflection in the mirror: she'd just fought a fire, she hadn't washed or combed her hair in days, and she was in the middle of changing her clothes when she had the vision, LOL. But someone made the comment that you've just made, and I realised that the description did sound a bit apocalyptic, and that made me unsure about the choice and about the circumstances in which she'd have to make it... Because I'd been thinking along similar low key lines to JKR, when Harry becomes the master of the Elder wand after a little scuffle with Draco. And yes, this is about halfway through a very long, episodic story.

No 4 -- I do recommend 13th Warrior if you haven't seen it! The different universe/fandom idea's a very good one. I can see it working with Draco & Hermione...

No 6 -- It's never been posted anywhere else, but it was started for a fest, so it is possible you've seen the pinch-hitter's take on the same prompt. (I'm very much hoping, though, that she/he used one of the other prompts). I think I stalled on this story not so much because I didn't know where it was going as because I wasn't feeling well and I thought it would be a lot of work -- in particular, that I would really need to brush up on HBP -- to get it 'right'.

No 7 -- Yes, finding the right beginning was exactly what I was trying to do, and both incidents do happen in the same story. I actually converted this into a dmhgchallenge drabble, though in that version she turns him down.

No 8 -- Good question! This is actually a sequel to a drabble that was a missing scene, but I think that this continuation turns it into an AU HBP.

No 9 -- She's turned down his proposal (in the past) and now she's accepting it. This is another drabble -- which was never submitted because I misread the prompt! -- that could, I feel, grow into a much longer story. The title was Her plaything, but I haven't decided whether Hermione really has messed Draco about, or whether that's just his Malfoy ego talking, annoyed that Hermione isn't a pushover.

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 12:37 pm (UTC)
curious Legolas

1. - is Éowyn in Galadriel's garden after Galadriel has sailed and Lothlorien is abandoned, or is she somewhere else? Why is she where she is?

2. - I only have one question - do you think you will ever get back to this story?

3. - Have you worked out in your own mind whether this is the same Melannen? Could this be a completely alternative reality? Or is it a different time and so, possibly, a different Mellannen? And if this is a different mother to the one alive Melonnen has, is it the same father? (You don't have to answer any but the first question, of course... they are as much me musing!)

6. Having read your comment about Draco thinking he is manipulating Hermione when the opposite thing is going on I think it sounds fascinating.

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 03:10 pm (UTC)

No 1 -- Yes. It's the end of the last part (so far) of the Eowyn/Legolas challenge, when Eowyn is taking off Galadriel's white dress and has the vision of Galadriel, and No 2 is the start of the next part but one. I haven't written anything inbetween... I'm sure I will get back to this story eventually but, at the moment, I need someone to put those paddle things on my chest, turn them up to 360 (which is what always seems to do the trick), shout "Clear," and zap me back into writing!

No 3 -- Yes, I have! Do you want to know now or do you want to wait (probably quite a long time ;-)?

No 6 -- I've had a lot of positive comments on this one & I'm starting to think that it was only the operation that stopped me writing it. But you can see that it would have taken/will take a lot of thinking through, can't you?

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 04:37 pm (UTC)

Posted by: starduchess (starduchess)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 02:02 pm (UTC)
dramione

I want to say, "Let me read them all now!" but especially #1 and #6. So intriguing, both of them.

And I like 7 better than 7A as a starter. And 8 can be the start of a much longer story as well, although I read that you almost wrote this for dmhgchallenge. It's a good jumping off point, though.

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: April 27th, 2012 04:28 pm (UTC)

LOL!

No 1 -- This is a very long, episodic Legolas/Eowyn story, and I'd just come to the end of one episode & was starting on the next & ran out of steam. Eowyn had just been fighting werewolves, so she was pretty tired, too ;-)

No 6 -- This was started for a fest but I had to drop out, though I think I will probably continue it at some point, especially since a lot of people have asked about it.

No 7 -- That's two votes for 7!

No 8 -- Yes, I misread the prompt, wrote this (which isn't quite a 100 words), then realised my mistake and wrote something else. But I thought that this might make a longer story some day, so I kept it.

Posted by: bunn (bunn)
Posted at: April 29th, 2012 09:35 am (UTC)

I'm intrigued by the 13th Warrior snippet. I do love that film but I can't remember Edgtho the Silent at all! Will have to have a re-watch.

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: April 29th, 2012 05:02 pm (UTC)
edgtho_1

This is Edgtho on my icon.

I love the idea of that story. One day, I will write it!

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