?

Log in

No account? Create an account
ningloreth [userpic]

Hawthorn and Vine Reverse Challenge II

August 26th, 2010 (10:47 am)
Tags:

They've posted my story! They've posted my story! (I'm so pleased, because I hate waiting ;-)

It's called The Beginning. It took a lot of writing & re-writing, and I was quite pleased with the result, though they've put a special warning on it because it includes torture (only the Cruciatus Curse, but described in rather more detail than JKR gives).

ALSO, they've posted another story inspired by my manip. It's called The Longest Love and it's by AlexaJohnson.

Comments

Posted by: Laura (borax38)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 11:43 am (UTC)
Dramione

Your manip inspired some rather melancholic fics, didn't it? I'm off to read yours, by the way.

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 11:59 am (UTC)
dramione_coy

It did. And I really didn't mean it to be so sad!

Thanks -- I'd really appreciate a review {flutters eyelashes}. So far it's had 27 hits and no reviews :-/

Posted by: Laura (borax38)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 12:03 pm (UTC)
Dramione

Working on it!

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 12:05 pm (UTC)
draco_scorpius

LOL! Thanks!

Posted by: Laura (borax38)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 12:34 pm (UTC)
Dramione

Just read and reviewed!

I loved it! I think I can't insist enough on how it surprised me. It started with Hermione who was so out of character I almost wanted to give up, and then in the middle I realize she was under the Imperius Curse! That was really well done!

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 12:52 pm (UTC)
dramione_hearts

Thank you :-) I've replied to your review -- you were right, Draco was channelling Mr Darcy.

It was hard to write because I didn't want to give the curse away too early, but we were seeing it from Hermione's POV.

[I'm wondering how many people will give up because they think Hermione's OOC, though.]

Posted by: Laura (borax38)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 01:05 pm (UTC)
Catherine Morland reading

I think that might be a problem, but I don't really see how you do it any differently without giving the ending away. The more you develop Hermione before she's been cursed, the more her "OOCness" will be jarring and off putting. But if you start right off with her falling head over heals for Draco without any reason, people will think that it'll be the same way through. It gets better quickly, when you realize there's a more intricate plot, especially with the passages that are italicized.

I think that though Draco's proposal is funny because of the Pride & Prejudice reference, it does give somewhat the wrong idea about your characters, because you see them both falling head over heals for each other suddenly and for no known reason. If it was only one, you might think: "something is wrong/weird. I'm going to read the rest to figure what's happening." With both, it seems like you're writing them that as their normal character.

Do you understand what I mean or have I been rambling too much?

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 01:19 pm (UTC)
draco_eyebrows

Hm. I think I see what you mean. The real sequence of events/emotions is this:

Draco really is in love with Hermione when he proposes the first time, but it's a very selfish love (exactly like Darcy's).

When Hermione refuses him, he goes straight to Kingsley and agrees to go undercover (which he'd earlier refused because he was planning to marry Hermione).

The Death Eaters realise what he's doing (because, being upset, he lets the shadowy mental curse-specialist inside his head) and they zap Hermione in the lift.

She immediately throws herself at Draco; he recognises what's happened and goes straight to Kingsley. Kingsley tells him to play along, protect her, and feed her misinformation.

But... whilst they're living together, they both fall in love. Hermione falls for Draco in addition to being cursed into fancying him. Draco discovers a different deeper kind of love for Hermione (and he proves it by not only risking his life to free her but also giving her his house and his money)!

Posted by: Laura (borax38)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 01:28 pm (UTC)
Catherine Morland reading

I had figured out most of it, ha! Unlike Pride & Prejudice, though, at no moment do we get any insight inside his head to realize that he fell in love with her before proposing. So we and Hermione feel just the same as Elizabeth Bennet when Darcy proposes. At least Darcy talked to her before taking the plunge, though! Draco seems a little oblivious when he goes in! ;) Thankfully, he gets better as the fic progresses.

I hadn't realized that Hermione was targeted because someone gets into Draco's head. I sort of assumed his proposal was overheard, especially if Draco was being followed.

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 01:33 pm (UTC)
draco_lost

The bit where Draco thinks "Now isn't the time to let someone inside my head," is when they get him (though you weren't really meant to spot that unless you went back and checked)!

But later, he says to Kingsley, "Legilimency, perhaps." And Kingsley says, "That answer's not reassuring coming from someone working undercover!"

Posted by: Laura (borax38)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 01:40 pm (UTC)
Catherine Morland reading

Hmm, I had noticed the second passage, but not the first one. Nice foreshadowing!

I wonder how long he's had feelings for her. After all, if a Death Eater could get into his head, there's no reason Voldemort could not, especially in Draco's emotional state in DH. Would he have noticed his feelings for Hermione?

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 02:08 pm (UTC)

Well, this is set when they're both about 25. (I actually said that in the notes, but they didn't post it). So he might always have fancied her a bit, but developed deeper feelings more recently.

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 12:34 pm (UTC)
Bother

I shall have to wait for you to post it here, as it is a locked community. I wonder why I could read the one she did for your picture? Which was rather a poignant and sad wee pice, but nicely written.

Posted by: Laura (borax38)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 12:36 pm (UTC)
Catherine Morland reading

It's probably because ,lj user="ningloreth">'s fic is higher rated: they want you to sign up and declare you're old enough to read the fic for you to access it.

If you like reading Dramione, though you should definitely sign up at Hawthorn & Vine. It's a really great and active site.

Posted by: curiouswombat (curiouswombat)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 06:30 pm (UTC)
Dawn go Home

I am not really a regular reader in the Pottery - I think I belong to too many LotR and Buffyverse communities already!

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 09:10 pm (UTC)

Not even to read my story, LOL?

Posted by: ningloreth (ningloreth)
Posted at: August 26th, 2010 12:37 pm (UTC)
dramione_hearts

Oh, b*gger, I hadn't realised that! I think mine's probably locked because it's rated MA.

17 Read Comments